Woe Is Me

Being sick is the pits. It's the absolute worst!

I used to love getting sick as a kid. You see, my mother would let me stay home at first sniffle, cough, or gurgly stomach. I'm sure that I could have toughed it out 75% of the time and gone to school, but what kid is going to say no to a couple of pampered days at home? Not this one. I was a straight-A student and my absences never affected my grades; with the borrowed notes of others and help from teachers I easily kept up.

Not now, though. Now, I can't keep up. Being sick as an adult is not the same as being sick as a kid.

I don't have time to get sick. There is simply too much to do and hardly enough time to do it as it is. And, what's worse, I don't get pampered anymore when I'm ill. Garrett and I had to have a sit down about this recently--neither of us is very good at taking care of the other one when sick. Fact: I have very, very little sympathy. I think I was in the 9th percentile for sympathy on my last personality evaluation test. This lack of sympathy unfortunately carries over to my ever-demanding husband when he doesn't feel good. So, I'm working on it. In turn, I asked him to work on taking care of me when I'm sick just like he wants me to take care of him when he's sick. To me this means: let me rest, bring me soup, feed and walk the dog, keep the house clean, and tell me I look pretty even though my nose is all red and I haven't washed my hair for days. He's working on it.

Today marks the first day that I've had to call out of work, ever. I don't have the same stance on missing work as I did on missing school; I can't borrow notes and look for help from teachers to catch up anymore. It isn't quite the same.

Realistically, I'm glad that I stayed home. I've worked through being sick pretty frequently over the past couple of years but wasn't pulling a 101 degree temp like I am now. Realistically, I need to be bedridden because I get dizzy when I stand. Dizzy standing is not ideal for my job where I work on my feet.

But just because I needed to stay home does not mean that I wanted to stay home. I do not want to be sick anymore. Got that, universe? Because in one day of being sick, this is what I missed: an important and overdue meeting at work, teaching a lesson to brand new clients, teaching one last lesson to a student before she tests to the next level of riding tomorrow, a meeting with a potential exercise rider, and a volunteer training commitment. And that's only at work. Did I mention that today is one of my best girlfriend's birthday, and I have to miss her get together tonight? Or that it is 80 degrees and sunny outside for the first time this year, and if I felt well enough I would have spent my morning off (which I had regardless of my health) at the pool? What's worse, now my dog hates me and thinks I'm the most boring person in the world because I was home all day and didn't walk her. She spent a good portion of the day staring me down and crying, hoping that I would cave as I normally do.

In a nutshell, I feel like poo, I missed a ton of stuff at work that I cannot make up, I had to stay inside on a beautiful day, I can't go out for my good friend's birthday (which I already had an outfit ready for, of course), and my dog thinks I suck.

Maybe Mollie is right: I suck when I'm sick.

Sorry for the rant. I feel a little (mentally) better now.