Friday, December 6, 2013

Roaring 25

As each year passes in my life, I like to reflect on all that has happened in the 365 days leading up to my birthday.

Last year, I wrote this blog post as an ode to year 23. Since 23 was a year of accomplishments and milestones, I set three goals for myself to meet in year 24.

I'll be the first to admit that I didn't accomplish any of those goals (apart from sporadic 2-week yoga stints, hardly the makeup of a yogi).

Normally, I'd be disappointed in myself for not meeting any of those goals I set for myself. However. In lieu of disappointment, I felt an understanding. Because what I learned in year 24 was this: sometimes, you have to let life get in the way.

24 was a year of self-discovery. It was a year of growth and change, a year of recognizing that I wanted something a little different than what I was living. It was a year of keeping big change in mind and accepting the fact that change might not happen right away, but would happen nonetheless. It was about loosening control and believing that all things happen for a reason. Because I made myself relax a little bit, year 24 was filled with the best elements of life: family, friends, health, travel, and laughter.

And you know what? Everything worked out. That big change I was talking about? It happened. Garrett and I moved to San Francisco, at the exact time I was hoping for. And in moving to San Francisco, I'm embracing another change, one in my career. A change that hasn't happened quite yet, but one that I'm working toward and, more importantly, accepting the fact that it will come in due time.

In the meantime, I'm letting life get in the way. I'm letting myself get distracted as I explore the streets of my new city, allowing my feet to wander into any space that catches my eye. I'm letting myself sleep a little later and cuddle a little harder. I'm letting myself say "yes" instead of "no", the latter my usual first reaction. I'm letting myself live unrestricted in all the best possible ways.

In living this way, I've discovered something new: I cannot be afraid to ask for what I want. I cannot hold back from fear of burdening others, from fear of rejection. If I truly believe that all things happen for a reason, I need to actually let all of those things happen. I need to ask for all of those things to happen.

So watch out, world. I'm entering 25 with a roar.

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